One Liners
Quotes
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."- Mariah Carey See all 322 of our quotes >>
A.K.A Throwing Up ...
lateral cookie tossSee 90 other ways to say it >>
A.K.A Pooping ...
Squeezing out those last few caloriesWe have 145 other ways to say that too >>
Really Bad Names
Anne Howe79 examples of what not to name your kids >>
Confucius Say...
Confucius say foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man gives wife upright organ.See 80 pearls of twisted wisdom from Confucius >>
Yo Mama!
Yo Mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!Find out 151 things about Yo Mamma here >>
Pick Up Lines
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?Learn all 146 of our can't miss pick up lines >>
Rejection Lines
You're lost in my eyes? That explains the headache.Prepare yourself with 52 rejection lines >>
Funnybox Asks
If you add half and half to your coffee, isn't it now third and third and third?Ponder 191 unponderable questions >>
Fulldeckisms
There's biscuits on the griddle but the stove ain't on.Compare people you know with 200 comparable fulldeckisms >>
Answering Machine Messages
So! You've finally called. And I suppose you think I'll just be here. Well you're wrong. I gave up on that yesterday. Seventeen weeks is long enough. Waiting for you; staring at the phone; never going anywhere... Well I've had enough! I decided to get a real life, so I'm out testing lint removers for Ralph Nader. Now it's your turn. Leave a message at the beep and I might just get back to you -- if I survive my new job.Consider 124 messages for your answering machine >>
Uncatagorifiable One Liners
I'd kick the devil in the jimmies for a glass of water.Memorize all 55 of these other one liners for all occasions >>
